Sick

Why is this feeling so often associated with this girl? Now that I'm thinking about it, why is this feeling only ever associated with worrying about somebody that I care deeply about? People associate the butterflies and the little electric pinpricks with love, but you know what? I get those sensations waiting to see a show. I get those sensations writing a poem. That's not love. Apparently love is feeling like you have a completely empty void in the bottom of your stomach, and something blocking the back of your throat.

I'll probably never understand what happened with Mark and why. Mostly because she will never tell me. She thinks that I don't and won't understand, so she doesn't try. She doesn't want to dissappoint me. She doesn't a lot of things because she thinks it best that way. Well I wish she would. I really, really wish she would.